For Love or Shame
by Almi Pendragon
Summary: Discontinued. Seifer/Quistis, Squall/Rinoa. Quistis is assigned a mission that will test her loyalties - SeeD or the world's enemy.


Author's Note: I will be continuing Emerald Dragon; I'm just playing with the ideas expressed in this fic. I'm trying to develop the character's more, to make them more human, realistic. We'll see if I can get there =P. Oh, just read the following quote, I know it's long, but I think it fits Seifer's character VERY well.

"The greatest terror a child can have is that he is not loved, and rejection is the hell he fears.  I think everyone in the world to a large or small extent has felt rejection.  And with rejection comes anger, and with anger some kind of crime in revenge for the rejection, and with the crime guilt --- and there is the story of mankind. . . It is all there --- the start, the beginning.  

One child, refused the love he craves, kicks the cat and hides his secret guilt; and another steals so that money will make him loved; and a third conquers the world ---and always the guilt and revenge and more guilt.  The human is the only guilty animal. 

Now wait!  Therefore I think this old and terrible story is important because it is a chart of the soul--- the secret, rejected, guilty soul" – John Steinbeck, East of Eden

Quistis sat in the waiting room, impatiently drumming her fingers along the arm of her chair. She had been called over the intercom by Commander Squall Leonhart, who was currently 'busy.' She could hear the conversation of the 'very important meeting' he was in due to the fact Squall had not completely closed the door.

"Squall! You can't keep putting me off." Rinoa sighed, frustrated. She put one of her hands on her hips, trying to think of a way she would make Squall understand that they needed to talk.

Squall stood stoically by the window. He ran a hand through his hair, as he often did when he was at a loss for words. The silken strands of his hair temporarily pushed out of the way, Squall turned to face his girlfriend. The icy blue gaze bore into her brown eyes. They were kind though. "Rinoa," he started softly. "Can we finish this conversation a little later? I have a lot of work to do."

With anyone else, Rinoa would have been surprised at being figuratively shoved aside for work. But this was Squall, master of being too responsible, seemingly insensitive and stoic expressions. In another life he would have made a living as an excellent poker player. She gave him a small, hurt smile. She bit down on her lip, forcing her tears to stay back. In a meek voice, she replied, "Sure Squall, sure. I'll call your secretary next time to make an appointment to see you. Forgive me," she choked, "for thinking we were more important than your work." Tears fell down her innocent face.

"Rinoa," Squall started, in an attempt to explain himself, but Rinoa fled the room, unable to hold back her tears any longer. "Damn it!" He slammed his fist into his unfortunate desk. He hated the responsibility and time his job demanded. Personal problems would have to be put aside for the moment. Squall sat down at his desk and phoned his secretary, Xu. "Is Quistis here yet?"

"Yes sir. She's in the waiting room," Xu curtly replied.

"Send her in." Squall took a deep breath, hating the mission he was about to assign to his childhood friend, Quistis.

Quistis strode into the room, wearing her usual pink outfit. Some things would never change. She saluted her commander and sat in the chair he gestured towards.

Squall swirled his chair to the side, not wanting to look Quistis in the eyes. "I called you to give you another assignment."

Quistis nodded expectantly, politely. She had figured as much before she reached Squall's office.

"Understand that I assign this to you out of necessity." Squall rotated his chair back to face the blonde woman.

She bit her lip, expecting the worst.

"You are to find out how much Seifer knows about Time Compression, as well as if he was being controlled by Ultimecia." Squall searched Quistis's face for a reaction. She was confused.

"How am I supposed to accomplish that? I doubt he'd talk about it. Seifer has too much pride to tell anyone that he was being used – if he was even controlled." Quistis looked at Squall's face for clues. She saw the sympathy in his eyes and suddenly she realized his intentions. "OH HELL NO! Forget it! There's no way I'm accepting this mission Squall – whether or not you're my commander!" Quistis began to rant.

Squall stopped her by raising his hand, signaling for her to be quiet. "That's enough Quistis. I know how you must feel . . . but this is of utmost importance. His trial is coming up, and we need evidence either way. You do want a fair trial for him don't you?"

"Squall! It's not about fairness or not! You can't ask me to do this!" Quistis threw her hands up in the air and shoved her chair back by standing up suddenly.

". . ." Squall looked at her and at that moment Quistis knew she had no choice. "I'm sorry Quistis. Matron personally asked me to prove Seifer's innocence."

Quistis shut her eyes for strength. "Why me?" she asked softly.

"We have a hunch that Seifer liked you the best out of all of us, not to mention the fact Selphie is attached, and Rinoa is not even a SeeD." Squall wished he could offer more comfort to his despairing friend.

Quistis looked up, puzzled. "He despised me Squall. He hated the fact I was his instructor and had more authority than him."

"You remember the Discipline Committee Quistis?"

She nodded.

"Look at this." Squall handed over a thick packet of information on students who had been written up by the Discipline Committee.

Quistis thumbed through the pages. She noticed the names of several of her students who were Trepies.

Citation #133A203J:

The above mention student has been written up for stalking an Instructor Quistis Trepe.

Citation #133A204J:

The same student has committed his second offense for vandalizing an Instructor Quistis Trepe's door (with fire-hazard objects, namely posters, clutter, flowers, etc.)

Quistis looked in shock at the list. Seifer had written up a lot of Trepies for idolizing her. She had wondered why she hadn't been harassed more during her free time. It had been Seifer who kept the Trepies away from her.

"How am I supposed to get him to tell me about anything?"

"You know him better than anyone else Quistis. Play upon his weakness, his emotions, feelings if you need to," Squall said with little emotion in his voice. In truth, he was fighting against his conscience, morals that Rinoa had brought out of him. He was no longer the unquestioning soldier that would do anything under orders or for money. He felt terrible for giving this assignment to Quistis, who no likely felt the burden of her conscience. Squall felt sympathy and pity for the fallen knight, Seifer.

The orphanage gang did not hate Seifer either. They felt he was merely a misguided person forced into servitude. At least, they hoped this was the case. Rinoa, who had been controlled by Ultimecia for a short while still suffered from nightmares and could only manage what Seifer was feeling. She had already forgiven him for throwing her to Adel.

"What exactly do you want me to do to get this information?" Quistis asked, sighing, defeated.

". . . Anything."


End file.
